Solitude as an asset rather than a punishment: 8 advantages we forget about

“I am by myself,” she said, and I wanted to offer my condolences. This was when I still believed that being alone after a separation is a punishment. But she was having the time of her life.
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It was the day before Christmas Eve.

As every year, I was enjoying the occasion by selecting suitable wines for the Christmas menu. Red wine with a more striking flavour and more alcohol to match the traditional barley with mushrooms, sparkling and lighter white wine for dinner to go with the fish, sweet wine or Port to enjoy with the Christmas cookies.

Just then, the Messenger alert on my mobile announced a strange message: “YOU ARE LYING when you say that we are all an average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with. I am surrounded by people who laugh and make jokes, but I don’t feel like laughing at all. On the contrary, the more I sense someone’s satisfaction, the sadder I become.”

A lonely reader. Loneliness seems to grow towards the end of the year. The more we talk about spending Christmas together and expressing our love, the more miserable lonely people become. Work slows down, we look back on the year just passed and lonely people ask: Is it possible to find anything positive about loneliness?

This is why I created this year’s Christmas Special issue, an unusual gift for you or those close to you who may be in need of finding something like this under their Christmas tree; to be a message for those who feel lonely, not only when they are next to another person but mainly within themselves.

Are you bothered by being single? Do you want to change this but can’t find the right partner?

Are you sometimes overcome by the feeling of emptiness making it hard for you to start any meaningful activity, including work?

I have a surprising point of view for you – how to use the time of inner solitude to your benefit. We are joined by a psychologist, who sees loneliness as a precious stage in life allowing us to experience things we could not or would not want to with a partner.

You don’t believe this? Let’s listen to her.

A moment for yourself. When was the last time you made good use of it?

1st advantage of solitude: We have time for mental cleansing.

Are you alone? Excellent. You can start working on yourself the way you always wanted. The first step is called the mental restart. Don’t hesitate, you will feel fresh and full of energy after this. So, how is it done?

Get rid of all useless burdens and residues we carry in our heads. This eliminates all self-destructive signals from our subconscious. All bad thought patterns from the past will be released and replaced with a new, positive power.

Find out who or what triggers our negative feelings or what limits us.

And throw all burdens, grievances, sadness and other negative emotions into the imaginary bin.

You don’t know how to do this?

First of all, we need to discover them, examine them a little and cut them out; which is painful. Going through these emotions once again means reliving the pain, but also washing the pain away with tears. Only then will we be able to close the door on the bad things and start with positive affirmations to begin fulfilling our plans with ample energy.

Thinking positively despite all grievances is a mere start, a patch that works short-term. Negation may return after some time and may be all the more intensive. To heal without inflammation, every wound needs to be cleaned and this takes time. Live through this stage – it is truly worth it. It will be a great relief from the long-term perspective; old wounds will heal, and we will see everything more clearly and discover new opportunities.

Solitude is ideal for this because we don’t have any crutches to help us postpone during this time. There are no excuses. Mental cleansing is the same as house cleaning – chaos and jumble come first. However, the outcome is brilliant; everything is in order and all dirt is gone. This is why mental cleansing is important before we start something new. Life starts to shine anew. This method is not easy for some but if we can manage this, we find the strength to move forward in our lives and use the periods of solitude for our personal growth.

Remember that problems are rarely solved at the level where they originated. We need a balanced view, a certain distance and time. It is also best to start new relationships with a clear and fresh head.

What is the 2nd advantage? What can we do better than anyone else? And why should we feel like we are suffering at all?

Please, continue to the 2nd page