The Five Most Important Things in My Life

I spend every night with my child. And I’m looking forward to spending every day together. What’s more, one of my partner’s dreams will soon come true. She’ll be taking a trip to somewhere she’s wanted to visit ever since she was young. She deserves it. And I need her to be happy. Partly for her, partly for me.
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What, in your life, is most important to you?

What are you trying to achieve?

What’s the one thing you know that, at the end of your life, you’ll be grateful you chased after?

When I created a Christmas Special magazine on everything that brings us energy, fulfilment, and happiness, I counted endless potentially valuable resources. The Christmas Special was, as such, created to benefit anyone and everyone, whether they were suffering, or content.

You often ask me to ‘open up’, so you can get to know the ‘real me’. Ok then. I will.

Since I was young, I’ve stuck by the five things that mean the most to me. When you hear them, you’ll see that they aren’t mutually exclusive, but that they are, in fact, closely linked. They complement one another.

As we all know, a chain is only ever as strong as its weakest link. This is why I pay careful attention to all the things that truly matter to me, as much, and as frequently, as possible. You may be amused to see that some of the traditionally valued resources aren’t on my list. However, when you read on, you’ll soon realise that they are, in fact, covered by my list.

My First Valued Resource: Time

Time itself is the most precious thing of all. We all know this. And when it comes to time, we all have equal wealth. It’s just that, whilst we all have 24 hours a day, nobody knows how many days we have left.

When I first grasped this concept, it occurred to me that nature teaches us to respect what we have in the present, and to make maximum use of it before it’s gone.

In other words, death, or running out of time, isn’t the worst-case-scenario for me. My worst-case-scenario is, on the contrary, having lots of time, and not being able to use it.

I realised this whilst visiting an acquaintance in a long-term treatment facility. I realised that my goal shouldn’t be to live as long as possible, because that could simply mean surviving, but, instead, to live as fully as possible. I don’t measure life by time, but, instead, by experiences, and by actions.

At the long-term treatment facility, I saw people my own age standing powerlessly by the window, gazing at the world beyond the institution walls. Gazing at the outside world where their doctors wouldn’t, and perhaps never would, let them go. Mostly, they were at the facility because they’d collapsed doing something foolish, like working too hard for other people. And those ‘other people’ had soon forgotten about them.

They couldn’t turn back time. They lived somewhere between regret and longing for what they’d had, and what they’d lost. Cruelly, they then felt a desire to live, and a sense of futility. Primarily, this happened when they saw other people beyond the institution walls. Other people who could live a full life. Other people who, paradoxically, weren’t living a full life, and moaned that they were unable to. And these people, who were often young, wished that they could shout to them from the window. To shout “people, live your lives!” The window, however, had to remain closed. And the others couldn’t hear them.

I was inside the facility and, as a guest, I heard them. And I still hear them today. I try to live life to the full so that, one day, when I’m standing by the window, I’ll look at the other people beyond the wall, and feel gratitude for what I’ve experienced, and for the memories that live on in me. Nobody can take away your memories. Similarly, nobody can make them for you.

My Second Valued Resource: Positive Feelings

Clearly, feelings form the basis for everything. Feelings give rise to ideas, ideas give rise to actions, actions bring about results, and results create new feelings. It’s a never-ending cycle. And it accelerates. If we have negative feelings, we get negative results. This makes our feelings worse. Therefore, I completely avoid anything that could bring me negativity. I try to find something good in every bad situation. And whatever I do, I must do it well. I do so, not only for myself, but mainly for the people around me. If I feel positive, not only will this stop others from feeling negative around me, but it will also make them feel better.

Within my chain of valued resources, I find that if I have positive feelings, I feel more inclined to be proactive and pursue my dreams. Therefore, I make maximum use of time.

My Third Valued Resource: People

A person is neither perfect nor bullet-proof. This means that other people can always identify weakness in you, and hurt you with scathing remarks. A wounded person can’t help themselves. Instead, they start to get ill. They wait for it all to pass them by.

I don’t wait. I don’t have the time to wait. I can’t afford to waste time on bad feelings. That’s why I surround myself with people who heal me, almost like an ointment. My three most important people are available, at the drop of a hat, on the phone, or in person. And they HEAL ME.

How? It’s simply enough for them to listen to me, not to condemn me, and to join me at rock bottom, so I don’t feel alone. Company helps. Maybe it’s a placebo effect, but it works for me.

My partner is my most important person. When someone else ‘shoots me down’, I hold her closest. She heals me. She’s my complete confidante. As such, I always chose partners based on trust. I don’t have anyone around me who I don’t trust. If my partner betrayed my trust, she’d no longer be my partner; because she wouldn’t be able to bring back my good feelings.

So, if someone else ‘shoots me down’, I go and see my partner. But if my partner ‘shoots me down’, I go and see the most GENUINELY important people in my life. My friends. They’re the people who’ll never ‘shoot me down.’ They, therefore, sit right at the top of this valued resource.

They provide certainty in my chain of valued resources. With these people, I know that if someone ‘shoots me down’ (even when I do it to myself), I’ll soon have my good feelings back. And I’ll soon be able to make use of my time again.

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