1. Try to realise how wealthy you are
I have a miserable life. I am unlucky. I live an unfulfilled life.
Do you ever have those thoughts?
If so, have you ever thought about what represents real wealth for you? What is its currency? What do you value most of all? Do you only measure wealth with money?
For me, real wealth is the ability to enjoy absolute happiness. It is possible even in hard times, because with what has been called “a wealthy perspective” you will see things differently.
In Europe, people have more material wealth than almost 90% of the rest of the world population. We do not have to go to bed hungry or sleep outside, we have access to drinkable water, electricity, health care, Internet. All of this is come about in only a century or so. We can read, study for free. In the morning, we can choose what to wear. So why aren’t we happy then?
Materially, we have more than many others, so what is missing from our lives that makes us feel so poor? You might want to think about that.
2. Start focusing on what brings a positive result
Before we embark on any new goal we need to have a discussion with ourselves, in which we tell ourselves in no uncertain terms that we can do it.
The faith that overcomes all negative thoughts and destructive emotions (which may appear any time, or may be passed on to us by anybody) comes only through deliberately nurturing positive feelings and ideas.
Many people complain that they cannot replace bad thoughts with good ones so easily, and yet it is easy. Regardless of how a situation develops, we need to focus on what we WANT to happen. Only then will we be able to move towards it. The more you maintain awareness of how bad thoughts intrude, and the more you practice beating them down, the better you will get, and soon it will be second nature.
Of course, we cannot influence everything that happens to us. But we are always able to influence how we approach it, and how we respond. Everyone´s life has positive and negative aspects. Your ultimate level of satisfaction depends on how you respond to them.
3. Start focusing on what you can influence
Again: we cannot influence everything, but we can influence some things, and these are what we need to focus on, devoting all our time and energy on what we can change.
If we waste our life focusing on things that are beyond our control, it will only lead us to feelings of frustration, misery, and resignation. The worst thing about this is that in the end we will have gained nothing.
4. Start noticing your stress level
Humans have evolved a very useful ‘fight or flight’ mechanism. Danger fills us with adrenaline and heightens our senses so that we are ready to respond to it by either fighting or running away. When our jobs or relationships or circumstances present us with situations that fill us with fear, day after day, and we can’t fight or flee, the result is stress, and it can quickly destroy us.
The onset of stress can be slow and insidious, but take time to monitor yourself. Slow down. Relax. Breathe. Draw energy. Learn to find more time for you. And if nothing works, then don’t be afraid to seek professional help. There is no shame in taking your car to a mechanic, and no shame in taking your mind and body to a doctor or counselor either.
5. Start seeing the beauty of little moments
I will be happy if…
I have never understood this kind of sentence. There is no reason to postpone satisfaction if something can make us happy now. Secondly, pretexts for satisfaction do not need to be found in the future, they are all around us now. We only need to change our outlook to see them.
Instead of waiting for a big wish coming true – a wedding, children, employment, lottery winning – we can find happiness in what happens around us every day. In an ordinary cup of coffee in the morning, in the taste and smell of a homemade meal, in the enjoyment of sharing pleasures and concerns with someone close to us.
This can all sound a little trite, I know, especially when we live in a culture where we are encouraged to believe that satisfaction can only be bought. We are actively encouraged to not be satisfied so that we keep buying things that will supposedly fill the void.
A life where pleasure and fulfillment lies everywhere and in everything is much more rich and fulfilling, because everything is interesting.
It takes a change of view, but that little change can make a huge difference in the quality of your life, and those around you.
Which basic thing have successful people understood that taught them to improve as a result?
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