How To Be Invaluable, Or Five Heart Hooks That Will Make Another Person Miss You (Trust Me)

You think it’s the end. Worry is eating away at you. You don’t know anything; in particular that the other person feels exactly the same way. Because without you, they notice the difference.
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“Does he miss me?” she asked; but to answer I would have needed a crystal ball.

She wanted hope, but not false hope. She gave him her heart and believed that he would be sympathetic about the breakup. She simply needed to bang the table and show him the boundary he should never cross.

Now it was quiet. The only sound was the clock ticking; relentlessly, day after day.

How can we discover that we are of value to another person, if they don’t get in touch and we don’t know anything about them? How can we have hope that, maybe now, they have the same thoughts, and their fingers also itch when they see the instruction Write new message on their mobile phone? And what if we are being naïve and it means NOTHING that they already threw us overboard?

Old news. So many feelings. So many “forevers”. This can’t end, do you feel it?

If you have read my book The 100 Shortest Ways to You, you’ll know that there are two levels in a relationship. One is tangible—i.e. in the real world, where we can use all our sensory organs, touch our partner, feel them, and talk and listen to them. The other is intangible—i.e. in our minds. The second level can be much more intense; because we may not be able to get our partner out of our head, we can have the feeling that they are entering our dreams. We feel that we have to do something; we are full of emotions and, in particular, assumptions. Although they are not next to us, they are actually much closer—in us. Their absence torments us and we simply cannot concentrate on anything else. We seem to be devoid of reason, because the only organ that is broadcasting full blast is the heart.

It is total pain, which can transform into total pleasure. It’s enough for our partner to move from the intangible world to the tangible.

It’s not faith, certainly not. It’s hope, it’s doubt, it’s suffering. It is a question that resonates in your head, round and round like a stuck record: “Do they miss me?”

Do They Feel the Difference?

When a soulmate relationship breaks down, whether for a trial period or due to an ill-considered mistake, both parties feel the difference. The mathematics is strange. After all, before the relationship we were alone; expressed mathematically we were 1 unit. So after a breakup why do we feel as though we are lacking something, that we are not whole?

Well, because in a soulmate relationship 2 units merge into one. And when they split up, two halves are created. And 0.5 is less than 1.

A lone person has a lot of advantages. For example, nobody else can betray them. Because so many people are single, they feel safe, like ships in port. The problem is, that’s not what ships were built for.

A lone person has to rely on themself. However, because we all experience rises and falls, emotional fluctuations, trials and errors, and in particular, we live in a world full of weakening, hatred and dirty tricks, a lone person is more vulnerable. Sooner or later they will find that they need some support—an ear to listen, arms to hold them, a heart to understand. A soulmates relationship offers this. As soon as it splits, the two half-units find themselves not just alone, but lonely. They are not in sufficient company by themselves. (If you have read my book The 100 Shortest Ways to You, you will certainly remember my introductory story about the bat and the mouse.)

However, the question is: Was it a soulmates relationship? Or: Was it at least a relationship where the other person felt our added value—that as a couple we were more than when we were alone?

You don’t want to meet anyone but her. What do you miss so much? Why do you hate slogans like, “There’s plenty more fish…?”

On average, one person per thousand of my fans on Facebook entrusts me with their story and suffering. I have a quarter of a million fans, so that’s between two and three hundred people every day. Annually, I hear around a hundred thousand stories. As I stated in my live FB broadcast, this experience enables me to recognise patterns that repeat themselves. Although we are all quite different people, our hearts are very similar. We basically want the same thing—to be happy—and we realise who can help us be happy.

I can tell you when there is a high probability your partner is missing you it is because they have realised the DIFFERENCE. In order to generalise the text as much as possible, I will not be talking about individual love. I will instead talk about reason which, when we are alone, finally gets to speak and keeps getting stronger—because the heart usually has no idea what to do at such a moment.

What gives us not only value, but makes us invaluable? What are the first things our partner will miss as soon as the longed-for ear, arms and other heart disappear?

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