Money doesn’t destroy character – money reveals it.
Money is ultimately an infernal illusion – but it holds a spell over us for a twofold reason: 1) it helps us turn dreams into reality, and 2) it gives people power. Having said that, no relationship was ever destroyed by money. It is always humans who destroy them.
I have recently come across two cases that started out from the same point of departure: both he and she had nothing to their name.
However, Woman A met a man at work who did have SOMETHING – money, and thus more ways in which to be gallant. Lavish gifts, dinners, vacation getaways. Everything she had been dreaming of, but somehow never attained…
For a long time, her resistance held, but time was not on her side – quite to the contrary. Day after day, she perceived more acutely the difference between that which she had and that which she could have. Her partner showed no interest in developing his earning potential – fulfilling her material desires. And thus it came to pass, after five years of dithering, that she threw the switch, and promptly drew condemnation, precisely because she had waited NO FEWER than 5 years. Walking out on her partner, she asked: “Can you really hold this against me, given that I have only one life to live?”
Woman B was the opposite. She had had the opportunity to elope with a number of successful men, but had decided to throw herself behind her life partner while still in college, to use her support to help turn him into one of those successful men who had impressed her greatly from afar.
To boost his rise, she gave up her own career. She took care of home and hearth, of the children, and in more than one sense of her husband. He was free to focus on his work, and indeed rose through the ranks – and to the skies. But when your head is stuck in the clouds, you cannot see the ground beneath. He ceased to see his woman. He found another. One who told him with greater frequency just how awesome and admirable he was – if only he spent more time at work, with her. His ego whispered to him: Admit that you are SO much happier with her. Just look at how… young she is, how easy on the eye, how little careworn, the very opposite of a matron.
Woman B had forfeited her value in the eyes of her partner, because she gave it up of her own volition. She ceased to be herself, and became NOTHING for her partner. Those who sacrifice themselves for others are most frequently sacrificed by others. How seemingly easy it is to replace a maidservant by a paid housecleaner. Little wonder that her husband quantified the divorce settlement based on the typical salary of housecleaners: 55 crowns per hour, 10 years in arrears.
What to take away from such an end to one’s relationship?
In fact, how to cope with it at all?
How to make a fresh start, and how to dare and believe that a better person may be waiting in the wings?
And why does betrayal hurt those in particular who were innocent of any wrongdoing?
Let’s start at the end.
Please, continue to the 2nd page