10 biggest myths about happiness

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Motto: If you want to achieve something big, do not think about how big the obstacles are but how big you are.

“Our house burned to the ground,” they told me.

I wanted to feel sorry for them.

But they shone with happiness: “We all survived it!”

Some would say that the family had lost everything. In my view, everything was saved.

There are so many sources of happiness around us that we do not see them, or we take them for granted. Only when we lose them do we realise their true value. Until then, we get caught up in the traps that we think will make us happy. It has a sad result. People spend their lives tangled in these traps, sometimes without discovering they would be happier without them. It is the greatest paradox of life that proves God likes black humour.

The recipe for happiness is basically simple, we just make it complicated. We look for happiness where none is: in property, in the amazement of others. Some people die without realising that you only need three things to be really happy: have someone to live for, something to live for, and something to believe in.

It follows that saying YES to happiness is to learn to say NO to all that is not good for us. There is nobody around us; we are ourselves what we believe in. Will you accept 10 recommendations from this old dog as to what you should always let go of?

1st myth: My happiness depends on someone else

Relationships, work, friendship. Together they make us what we are. But all this has one major pitfall. Another person.

Every other person is outside our sphere of influence. We may think that we can influence them, but it is just an illusion. We do not drive foreign thoughts, failures, or deeds. Today we can be important to someone, tomorrow not. Relationships can change as quickly as the other person snaps their fingers. Whenever our happiness depends on someone else, we will always be vulnerable and, unfortunately, can actually be hurt.

Happiness is so rare that we must control it. We must not surrender it to someone else. Life often reminds us of this. Happiness comes from nothing, right from us. From our approach to life.

The essence of our happiness is not in anyone or in anything around us. Surplus money can make us just as happy or unhappy as a lack of money. A new house, car, any property can stress us out or make us happy. It’s not about things or about strangers. Happiness is always just about us.

Before we enter into any relationship (whether with a person or a thing), we must learn to love ourselves, first. Be happy in yourself. Respect yourself. Only in that way can we get on with someone or something else.

2nd myth: I will get happiness only when I make someone else happy

Now I will tell you, exceptionally, the key to failure: Try to please others. Sooner or later, we will come across it.

At some point in our lives we decide that we have found our calling – found ourselves – and that we will gain happiness through servitude to others. It could be the opposite. If we give too much of ourselves to others, one day we will lose ourselves completely.

In an effort to please others, there is a great deal of misfortune, misunderstanding, and disillusionment. There is a saying: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. No, we really will not gain happiness through anyone else. At most, we can help others make themselves happy. But in the first place, they must do it themselves. And they have to work on it. Happiness does not come from above, it is not automatic, self-evident, or at all easy…

Why is being happy not at all easy, and why is it good?

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