I’m 30+ and I’m STILL waiting. Where is my “destined relationship”? Where am I making a mistake?

Dan, 38 years old. He loves sports, travelling, life. But he is missing something. More precisely: someone.
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30+ means a category of 30 or more years of age

Today I’m going to write about two Meetings – with a man and a woman. They don’t know each other, but they have asked me an identical question. And there are many more such people. Since my recent posts dealing with a specific issue, you’ve been telling me: Sure, I’ll be working on myself, but I want to do it FOR SOMEONE!

Man asks: Where are the women for a long-term relationship?

He ordered the saddle of lamb with dry London gin.

“May I recommend a wine?” asked the waiter.

Daniel refused his assistance with a smile. “Do you have a Pessac-Léognan from the Bordeaux region or something from the Rhone area, or at least a California Cabernet?” he made the waiter give an appreciative nod.

Daniel likes pairing, but unfortunately he is only successful with good food and good wines. That’s why we ate at Chateau Mcely.

Outside was his black sports car, an M-B SLK roadster, as empty as his house with its indoor pool and sauna. He sits alone in both. It’s been a long time and he no longer likes it.

He lives for his work, but I don’t know which came first, the “chicken” or the “egg”: if it’s because he worked so hard in the past, he lost his long-term relationship; or if the absence of a partner made him work more.

I don’t know where to properly meet a partner nowadays. The women I have met in the last few years only want gifts, amusement, but none of them wants to build a long-term relationship.”

He dipped his ravioli in spinach puree, and before he put it in his mouth, he looked at me questioningly: “Is it because of this busy time we live in nowadays that there are no people interested in an unhurried life?”

Regina, 33 years old. Scarred from previous relationships. Disappointed so many times that she would finally appreciate a proper man who would respect her. But … where are they?

Woman asks: Where are the men for a long-term relationship?

“It’s like buying shoes in an e-shop,” she laughed to herself. “You never know how they’ll fit.” She talked about men on internet dating sites. “It’s a lottery, nothing more. Someone might win the first prize, but I keep getting the short end of the stick.”

I watch my hairdresser in the mirror while she’s drying my hair, rubbing in shaping gel with her fingers. Successful, independent – and alone. For a long time too. TOO LONG again.

She has tried. She has sought. But she’s tired of it.

She caught my look in the mirror and paused. “Is it because of the busy career-oriented time we are living in that men date for no more than two, three months, and then leave without a word?” she asked me.

“Are we doing something wrong? Are we automatically categorized as ‘watch out, that one will want a child’ or do we emit something else at this age that repels men?”

Tears gleamed in her eyes. “I have gone through three psychological phases – despair; absolute hatred against all men; and hatred against myself. I would like to stay on top of things, but is it possible for so long? Can you still believe if you don’t see the result?”

She asked the same questions as Daniel. As the thousands of other men and women who write to me.

It looks bizarre: As if the left hand was looking for the right hand! As if they didn’t even believe the other exists! As if it was enough to connect them! But I know that simply connecting them is not enough. What else is needed? What to focus on and what to ignore?

Is it because of the time we are living in?

Never in the past could people get so close to each other as we can today. We can be at the other end of the world in 24 hours. We can see and hear each other over the internet or through a mobile right away. Never before could people start a new relationship so quickly. And that’s why they could never waste the relationship so quickly either.

Yes, you would like to say: “Of course, it’s because of the time we are living in! It forces us to hurry, not to repair TVs, but to throw them away and replace them with ‘new ones, even better ones’ – everything is so easily replaceable, so why not relationships?”

But if, according to our buck-passing thinking, it is because of this period in time that we don’t build long-term relationships, then pens are responsible for our spelling errors, BMW cars are responsible for our hitting people on pedestrian crossings, and alcohol is responsible for our getting into a drunken stupor.

No, this is not because of the time we are living in. All this is to be only blamed on people. Specific people.

But if we can’t blame it on the time, where are we making a mistake? What are we overlooking in this current hurried age? And what unimportant things are we focusing on too much?

Please, continue to the 2nd page.